In this age of decentralization and disruption, there’s a massive opportunity for blockchain. But this revolution won’t be televised. It will be emailed.
The good news is, end-to-end encryption ensures only you and the people you’re communicating with can read those embarrassing messages you inevitably send in the future. Those on the outside of your inbox looking in would only see that a message has been sent, but wouldn’t see the content of that message. Your messages stay unread, just like those emails you send your team at 7:18 pm on a Friday.
So, what’s in it for you when it comes to decentralization? Well, first the security offered by blockchain makes regular email servers look as secure as your Facebook data. Your secret idea for the next Uber/ AirBnb/ Twitter/ Netflix/ Tinder/ Waze of Goat Yoga / Professional Beer Pong/ Interpretive Dancing/ Urban Kale Farming/ Hipster Mustaches has never been safer.
Secondly, you can build spam traps. Not filters — traps. If a neerdowell marketer attempts to email you about a really, super disruptive conference that folks like Shingy are attending, they’d be charged a small fee, because you have not elected to receive email from them. And who's to say what a “small” fee is? The size of the blockchain barrier between you and the dreaded mass BCC from recruiters is your call.
Blockchain looks towards the future, and leaves the past frozen in cryptostone. Speaking of which, we call dibs on that name. We will announce the Cryptostone™ ICO soon. Anyways, when you send a blockchain-backed email, that email is committed to the ledger and unable to be changed or edited retroactively. So the thrill of sending the perfect email, and the agony of discovering you spelled your co-worker’s name wrong, is all preserved through Blockchain.
Not everyone is on the blocktrain. Some say crypto’s future is as predictable as the flip of a coin. This begs the question — what coins are those doubters flipping? Because for our coin tosses, we prefer Bananacoin.
Currently, the blockchain both tracks and obfuscates any transaction. It’s just like your Dad always said -- Trust, but Verify Through an Encrypted, Publicly Accessible Digital Ledger.
Using the blockchain, we are decentralizing email even further - and we're not just talking about the 1s and 0s that power the email protocol you’re used to. This goes all the way up to the industry.
If you think this is a Lord of the Rings situation and there’s one email provider to rule them all, think again. It took Gmail until 2012 to eclipse Hotmail’s user base. Yes, even Hotmail has a dog in this fight for the fate of email. Alta Vista went down swinging. RIP.
Luckily, the legacy of legends never expires after 24 hours, or vanishes after one replay. You don’t have to follow, fav, or @ mention email to trust it. The proof of its permanence is in your inbox. Those old email in your sent folder? Yeah, those are just as bad as they were when you sent them all those years ago. That’s email’s type of Blockchain-permanence that’s unfettered by your feelings.
Like transactions on a ledger, we want you to carve your name in Cryptostone™ and join us on this journey into email powered blockchain. We’re working on a new protocol for email called, BOOSTED (Blockchain Offering Of Superior Technological Email Design). Some companies only amplify their email. At Nylas, make sure your company’s email stack is BOOSTED.
To sign up for this exclusive totally real offer and get updates regarding Cryptostone™'s initial coin offering, send us an email at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: This satirical post is inspired by a recent tweet by Vint Cerf, one of the fathers of the internet.